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Do's & Dont's of Infidelity Investigations |
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The following tips are to help you get your answers as well as help you prevent costly mistakes.
1. Most Important: Do not confront your spouse without hard evidence. You start
by shooting yourself in the foot so to speak. This will only push your answers further
from reach, adding to your anger, pain and frustration while prolonging the process.
Confrontation will cause changes in your spouses routine which will be designed to keep
you off balance. Last minute plans or last minute change of plans. This will render you
unable and ineffective. Impatience is expensive.
2. Do not ask too many questions. Keep your eyes and ears open. Mouth closed. Never
divulge your suspicions to your spouse.
3. Do keep an accurate calendar of your spouses activities. This will many times show a
pattern. Certain dates and times may come into play.
4. Check car mileage, receipts, pockets. Note dates and times of hang up or wrong number
calls. Document the number if one is available. You must not be obvious in your fact
finding mission. Check the redial button on the home phone or cell phone when possible.
5. Do treat the spouse in the same consistent manner as before the suspicions started. You
do not want to trigger a change in their behavior. The change will not be to your advantage.
6. Do have a plan. What are you going to do when you have your evidence? Talk it out, work
it out or get out (divorce)? If you follow these tips your chance of obtaining who, what,
when, where and how long the activity has been happening will be much greater.
This will not be easy. Your actions must be based on logic, not emotion.
People take a great interest in their own cases and can many times catch the cheater.
The problem is many courts will not accept unbiased evidence. Many spouses often
end up with more legal problems than they started with. Like criminal court instead of
civil court. Beware of problems related to the do it yourself investigation. You can cost
yourself thousands in additional attorney fee's and settlement fee's. Losing thousands
on the rear end to save a few hundred on the front end is a poor trade off.
7. The moment you catch the cheater is a time most people are not emotionally
able to handle. You need to avoid this moment at all costs. It is a very
dangerous time. The betrayed can have an uncontrollable urge to act
on the betrayal in that very instant. After all, the legal term temporary insanity,
comes from Domestic Law. Please do not take this advice lightly. The danger is
real. I have first hand knowledge of 9 people who responded the wrong way.
Today they are dead. They were all forewarned. They all said it could not happen
to them. Their children were raised by someone else.
When we interview a client, we cover the pit falls involved. A Licensed Investigator
has no emotional ties to the case. We can react objectively, record the activity,
without being detected. The cheater can then be confronted at a later date and
time by an attorney, or even the client in a calm controlled setting. When you are
able to confront the cheater with hard evidence, photo's, dates, times, places,
names of people involved. The barriers come down and the truth comes out.
Know the answer before you ask the question.
This article cannot be reprinted without expressed consent of A! Action Investigations
Chattanooga, Tennessee
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